Avoiding a sentence

I’ve been a bad boy.

Let’s get that out there straight away. My confession. Cards on the table. I’m hoping that by being open about it I will feel absolved, and hopefully forgiven.

I haven’t posted anything for months. There, I’ve said it. It’s a heinous crime for any indie writer to commit, but, like any criminal worth their salt, I have a fistful of excuses to present to the court. Well, three. Here goes…

This weekend I should be able, finally, to hit ‘publish’ on both KDP and Createspace (with Smashwords hot on their heels). The relief to be at this final stage is, I can tell you, something to savour. At times I thought I’d never get there, such was the frustration I felt during various stages of the process. And so my primary excuse is two-fold: I have been obsessing about every tiny detail, going over the novel repeatedly to fish out any typos that have been missed, making sure the cover is perfect etc etc. And, on top of that, I have to admit that self-publishing for the first time has been a steep learning curve. Thankfully, a lot of it was stuff that only needs to be done once, so when the next book comes out everything should be more straightforward (I’m going to regret saying that, I just know it). On the plus side, the whole experience has given me much to talk about, so I hope you’ll swing by to read my forthcoming posts. Assuming we’re still talking…

judge wigExcuse number two: alongside sorting out the novel, I have had a punishing work schedule. This, of course, is good because a) I enjoy copy-editing for a living, and b) I have noticed that utilities companies – not to mention mortgage providers – become acutely frosty when payments are not forthcoming. It’s only to be expected really, and not completely unreasonable.

Third and final excuse: I’ve started the next novel. I couldn’t help myself; it’s like an itch that needs to be scratched. There has been lots of planning and heavy use of Scrivener (www.literatureandlatte.com), as well as much rocking back and forth in my chair as I try to make the plot points join up seamlessly in my head. I’m starting to wonder whether the neighbours across the road think I’m trying to freak them out – I really should go and point out that no, I am simply staring out of the window for long periods of time. Just ignore me.

So that’s it, the defence rests. With any luck I will be shown clemency. I’m not a career criminal – this is my first offence, so hopefully a warning will suffice. A slap on the wrist. I’ll even try to make up for it with many hours of (writing) community service, with regular scribblings and interviews that I trust will inform and entertain. And if there’s anything you want to contribute, I always welcome comments and questions.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I throw myself upon the mercy of the court.

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